Gambling. Hobby or addiction?

[devious]

It’s a hobby until it crosses the line into addiction

[Letswork]

Ohh... you felt it. I’m 21 years old right now. And had this addiction from when I was like 12-14. From this moment I had lost all my money, all my salaries and money which I got earlier from family - gone. 2 years before, I ended up my 12th grade school, went to military for 9 months, and when ended it, we all got 1.5k. Guess what? All the time I was in army, I just complained how sucks it could be, and how to live happy with 150e each month.. all the time I was betting, remember when going for weekend and everyone talks about parties, hanging out, and What they will buy when they get back for a weekend, I was already driving to home 26km, thinking about random number which could be ,, this “ number, or numbers sequence which will lead me to success(at that time I don’t even think that it’s momentum lottery. I was making excuses that I already find something unique and haven’t tested yet. As I said, I lost all my returning money, and asked family for support, and travelled to Germany to earn some more money.. there maybe half month I wasn’t thinking anything about that. But 1 day I just thought that if after salary I will invest, as I said that time, at least 200-500 euros I could hit that RED button and get all my money back and quit this shit... 3 weeks i was inspecting and analysing random numbers which drops out randomly. But i believed in IT, and created idea... i got salary, i send all debts to owners, and i Were left with like 400 euros, to eat, and live till next salary.. guess what? I have thought that i can deposit 100 and Maybe make a fortune, but i have lost everything, even that time, when i changed my job, and was waiting few days to travel from berlin to hamburg.. i lost even that money:D. I had no job, no money, no food, no car, that hit me hard and i didnt want ever to get back. Somehow I found childhood friend who helped me with money. And I reached destination. We were thinking what we could start, that in future we could make 100k or more in year. So I invited him to try some sports betting advisors, and I have known 1 for very long time. So we decided to take risk and learn something new(even it was soo bad for me inside to manage risk ALL with my own, when our budget were not only mine. And first few days were very good, I haven’t listened my self to calm and dont make too high bets. Anyways, that few days was very good, and every bet I made were like 20x more that I should bet. For example if I need to bet 5euros. I have bet around 70-80.. it was a bit luck, but I couldn’t cope with stress which I feel from money which earned not mine. And somehow again... I loged in that ,,numbers&balls” session. Having know that I have 500euros together with my friend together. I thought if i can hit 1 number with 50$ I can earn 285$ ~(x7.0). I started slowly and calm. Earned ~1000euros, All night were gone, and was left 1hour till work, I have lost all my liver money, and were left only 250euros from my friend. I was crying, I was depressed, I was 500euros in debt, without money at the spot, with only my friend money which we thought will invest in betting. At that time, I thought everything or nothing..and time flied soo much from that moment. From this moment, I was soo controlled by emotions, and firstly I made bet 100e and 150 have left. First have been lost, other I won. I got 1k. Another 7-8/10 bets were won. And after 4-5 days, living and applying that ,, system “ I have accumulated 15k euros. All the time,I was betting with low sums, and day by day it was getting higher and higher, by 100-200-300. I thought I found something that could I repeat more than 50 or even 70%. decided to get back to home in Lithuania, and start something new.. I get back, I didn’t want problems with financial institutions so I have been withdrawing each day by 1k. I was living my own thoughts and ideology world which cannot be denied by anyone at the time. In 8 days. I have withdrawing 1k each month. And each day I was earning 500-1k before going to sleep without any of idea that I should stop. There is no better exit than this time. I had 30k at some time and we’re having few thousands in my pocket.. that was unexpected like for me and somehow my mind was like : I can earn and make another income here just by guessing random numbers.. I thought I’m a wizard trust me ;D That day I got attention from some of my friends when started a day with 1k withdrawal, ended up with 2.5k in total day balance I was planning tomorrow to look for new computer, and thinking that okay, 1.5k already in profits today, i could make a risk with 500 and if not i go sleep, if yes, i could close door without hesitation, even IT was already that time to say its enough. It wasnt.. i lost my 175 euros bet and was thinking if i can win in 3-4 rows i have won like before. And after i put my money at cashier, my emotions went to mobile app, and i was betting at the same time at the broker shop and internet by 150-175 euros at the same time. I havent checked when i lost 2k and there was only my today profit lost, i want to get Back that few k.. 1 time when IT was left like 18k, i hit that and reached all time high 32k. I thought, last 2k, then Maybe from last 5k till 25k i get back. Then IT was 20, 15, even when i got 10k ( i havent saw there money anymore, i just saw my self falling into depression, thoughts which killed me itself without thinking about that. That was hard that lost 7 years or 6 with gambling, and then when i have chance to recover lost money ~15k which i Calculate that amount might be lost, i just throw IT up in few hours, when even got a chance to be a part of ,,GAMBLING-WINNERS”. From that time i lost, i havent got any job for 1 year, first i was emotionally destructed, by the time it appeared in physical assets, like going for a walk, smiling, waking up, getting up from bed. All I saw my lost fortune and little dream which was reality by the time... To suming everything up, even these days, when Im blocked my self to this, i have found ways to bet, and believe me or not, sometimes i just log in, and check if min? betting(gambling) idealogy is lost with these brokers and its not working.. 2/3 times when i check IT, i really hit those Numbers as i predict/see before.. then IT leaves me standing and wondering maybe if I made it 1 time, and now, like month before had 100euros and asked my gf to help deposit it.. she deposited it, and we got 500euros. That time I thought my life getting better and better. I started to cope with my emotions, negativity and everything.. we went to sleep, morning comes, and she was asking to go for withdraw. Few moments passed, she was screaming that I can bet till 400, and just withdraw it, and be happy. But guess what, I took my phone to wc, thinking in same way like before. If In 2/2 available times I can win atleast 1, I can end up with 1k or even 2k in just 5 minutes. And I just made it lose faster than ever before ;D After that I felt hopeless, that I could not love, don’t want talk, even don’t want live.. But as time goes everything it was I almost forgot, and thinking that sometimes I rather take an jackpot ticket and guess these numbers, maybe I feel something..? Tbh: DONT EVEN START if you are WEAK like me , can’t get out at any time.. trust me, this shit hits hard, not only psychological but even psychical. Have a good day! Thanks for your sharing! Sometimes the all we need is message!

Edited by Letswork, 27 March 2021 - 08:55 AM.

[zoobee]

for me this is the best option for rest.

[zoobee]

 What's the biggest win for you ??

Edited by zoobee, 24 April 2021 - 04:04 PM.

[zoobee]

It’s a hobby until it crosses the line into addiction

Yes, you have to be smart about gambling.

[zoobee]

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[LolaGr]

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[kingtk404]

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[dark0z]

great hobby until you're addicted.

[DonWoffles]

great hobby until you're addicted.

FACTS!

Smoked meth every day from age 15 to 30, fully high-functioning success story: graduated high school with honors, college degree, successful business owner, home owner (like fully owned), new car, old car, two-wheeled car, two-wheeled toys, 4-wheeled toys, no-wheeled toys (aka drones), high end whatever I wanted, no cigarettes or alcohol or any desire to, no boss, tons of free time and plenty of energy, box of money in a safe, abundance of wealth allowing me to give generously when the opportunity arose, upstanding member of the community, lots of girth on my penis, all the amenities. No interest in casinos or gambling, I could go in a casino with my chick and spend $40 and walk out and then go do something that seemed more fun like a museum or aquarium, or a movie & restaurant. Then one fateful night during a vacation at age 30 I ended up going along with my girl and her bro-in-law to a casino local to his area just for something to do, walked in with a few hundred dollars, pocket change to me, and damned if I didn't start hitting jackpots left and right and left again, every machine I touched I hit at least a few hundred dollars , sometimes double or triple that. Hours later I'm being dragged out of there by an angry girlfriend, who's idea to come was hers in the first place, my pockets stuffed full if cash, literally put a 20 in a alot walking out the door and hit another 500. I had plenty in my life already so it wasn't like a sudden windfall that I'd never had but something about that night rewired my brain and started a change in me that has robbed me of hundreds of thousands of dollars of wealth and made me feel like the sickest, weakest crackhead on skid row so many times after a long meth-fuelled gambling binge starting with several hundred or multiple thousands of dollars in my pocket and ending miserably and ashamedly with absolutely nothing to show for it , over, and over, and over....and over......and over again. And over again and again, and iver again. And again. And some more. Just watch yourself because you never know what unknown addictions you could be harboring half your life and never knowing nothing about. By the way, despite my near-crippling addiction that would send lesser.men to their graves and tear apart lives and families and all that jazz, I'm still fuckin awesome and doing quite well comparatively within my demographic. I've been told more than once that I have very nice balls. I think we can finish strong on that note. Awesome loggin lake em kiddos.