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Oh! Fucking Halkirk
This fucking town's a fucking cuss,
No fucking trams, no fucking bus,
Nobody cares for fucking us,
In fucking Halkirk.
The fucking roads are fucking bad,
The fucking folk are fucking mad,
It makes the brightest fucking sad,
In fucking Halkirk
All fucking clouds,all fucking rain,
No fucking kerbs, no fucking drains,
The council's got no fucking brains,
In fucking Halkirk.
No fucking sport no fucking games,
No fucking fun, the fucking dames,
Won't even give their fucking names,
In fucking Halkirk.
Everything's so fucking dear,
A fucking bob for fucking beer,
And is it good ? no fucking fear,
In fucking Halkirk.
The fucking flicks are fucking cold,
The fucking seats are always cold,
You can't get in for fucking gold,
In fucking Halkirk.
The fucking dances make you smile,
The fucking band is fucking vile,
It only cramps your fucking style,
In fucking Halkirk.
Best fucking place is fucking bed,
With fucking ice on your fucking head,
You might as well be fucking dead,
In fucking Halkirk.
No fucking grub no fucking mail,
Just fucking snow and fucking hail,
In anguish deep we fucking wail,
In fucking Halkirk.
The fucking pubs are fucking dry,
The fucking barmaid's fucking fly,
With fucking grief we fucking cry,
OH! FUCK HALKIRK.
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