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Evening gents. If you're reading this, then you have reached the pinnacle of life where you are either tired of being single or are looking for a great relationship. Now, these tips are guaranteed to help get girls attracted to you, but how long it lasts is up to you and your knowledge. This guide has been created through the dozens of years of experience with relationships that I as well as friends and many people online have expressed. I have followed many of these and I was quick to discover the true magic of these tips.
Get your pens and paper out, because this just might help you get through that tough pinnacle of life.
[PS : This is a modified version of an old thread of mine from another forum]
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Before You Start
It's pretty important to define what you call a relationship. If you're looking for a fuckbuddy or friends-with-benefits relationship, then you'll be getting your bit at the END on this thread. What I'm focusing on is true heartfelt relationships that most of us are looking for. So get ready for some change because things are about to get weird.
Step 1. Being Your (Best) Self
Do you remember when you were younger how when you asked your parents how to make friends, they said to be yourself? They weren't kidding. When you are looking for a relationship, you need to understand that all people are weird. You're weird, I'm weird, girls are weird, it's a thing we humans share, and sometimes we deem other people's traits as intolerable. Women tend to be more straightforward and reject-ready to these imperfections, but it's only because they struggle themselves to be the best society forces them to be. Now with this in mind, understand this;
- the person you are looking for should accept everything about you; love the good, and try to improve the bad for YOUR good.
- the person you are looking for should be open to change, suggestions, and advise
- the person you are looking for should see you as your best when you're in your worst.
Now don't get too cocky yet, because everything above applies to you as well. But I list it towards females since guys often go after the ones who are 10's but honestly don't give a damn about anyone. Remember, you want this person to actually love you.
Now, first thing's first; you gotta start taking care of yourself by doing the things you either do occasionally and/or not at all:
Brush your teeth everyday as well as showering.
(Nice white teeth make a great greeting smile. Don't take those pearls for granted, they determine if you're approachable or not. And showering keeps your face less zit-covered if that is who you are.
Use deodorant frequently.
(Want to ward off females quicker faster than a cross can to an evil spirit? Just stay stinky; believe me, the results are instant.)
Dress appropriately and do something with that mop you call hair.
(If you haven't noticed, our generation is the first to actually have men as concerned of their hair as women; and women are noticing. There are many hairstyles that have been created for men, so whether you're prematurely balding or you've grown hair long enough to be a female, the internet has you covered. Also, you don't have to wear polos and khakis, but some decent clothing goes a long way.)
Exercise frequently and eat healthy.
(No, you don't have to avoid pizza and burgers altogether, and no you don't have to do a huge amount of reps every day. Instead, when you wake up, do the following: 10 push-ups, 25 sit-ups, 15 jumping jacks, and if possible, run for one mile biweekly. Within a month, you'll see a small six-pack forming and some nice muscles.)
Stay mentally fit.
(Depression and anxiety are the biggest yet most common problems of our generation; and you'd think people would be pretty receiving of it. Keep yourself happy and learning, because as long as you don't become a chain of emotions to anyone and especially yourself, you're becoming maturer as you grow.)
Do you want some more pro tips on how to look your best? This channel is chock full of manly advise for your many needs. Trust me whe nI say that to doubt this channel would be a really bad mistake
It's that simple. And one thing you need to understand is that you're not as ugly as you see yourself. By following these tips, while still incorporating what makes you.. well, you, you can finally start being the person you strive for, and the man women want. But these are just the physical and mental steps. Yeah, girls will think you're cute and all, but that doesn't mean they'll want to be talked to by you. This is where the Box Theory comes into play.
The Box Theory
Imagine you're scrolling down on your favorite retail website and you see a seller offering something that will give you happiness and joy! And it's free! So of course you buy it and you wait weeks and weeks and weeks, and then it finally comes. It's all nice and beautiful and perfectly wrapped up, almost deeming with potential on what it could be! You open it up, look and inside and find...... nothing.
That's you right now. By doing the first steps above, you've made yourself super presentable, but anyone can look pretty. The Box Theory suggests that women have seen so many "boxes" in their life, that no longer do they see something pretty as a reason to react. But how do you fill the box? With your life. What do you do? What hobbies do you enjoy? Are you part of a sports team, a club, or something else at your school? Or do you hold some position of power, be it a Reddit forums, an amazing gamer, or someone who volunteers time. By doing things that you're either afraid of doing and/or that challenge you, you become filled with possibilities. "I hear that kid goes skydiving, and he's amazing!" "He's an amazing coder, but he's totally chill and cool to hang out with!" "That guy is super smart, and he's also pretty kind. I think you should meet him!"
The sentences above can be mixed-and-matched around with what you are, but in the end, that's what they are about; you. Treat life better than someone who screams "YOLO!". Treat it as it's your life, and you can do whatever you want.
How Should You Act?
Obviously that has already been determined; be yourself. But sometimes there is that one thing about you that you gotta tone down a bit or instead raise up a lot. Here are the most common, "Improve or Not?" scenarios.
Wild Vs. Chill
Are you wild? A party-starter? The center of attention? Or are you chill? Calm and don't care about life? Just there?"
Well, this is where you have to see the flaws of each.
Wild Pros: Attractive because everyone looks for fun and excitement. Helps start creating friendships because meeting other is easier. Gives you a sense of being unbeatable.
Wild Cons: Sometimes you just gotta understand life is serious sometimes. You're loud and obnoxious when other hate it. You think ANY situation is worth a laugh or cry of fun.
Chill Pros: Attractive because you're "cool" and people can be high-key around you. People imagine your life as some amazing fantasy of no work and hardships, and they want in on that. No one can mess with you, because you just shrug it off.
Chill Cons: Do you care about ANYTHING or ANYONE? You're deemed emotionless in dire situations. You're boring.
Here's what you should be: Be happy and cheerful around everyone. Make some jokes and enjoy your life, because it's way too short to waste. But if someone needs some time to be heard, give them that time and be respectful. If you're stressing, don't let it show, and continue on with life.
What will this do? It'll help girls feel better around you. Not only can they have some fun with you, but they're not being idiotic or causing problems for anyone.
Asshole or Pushover?
Are you an asshole? Do you not take "no" for an answer? Are you the leader of whatever you want to be? Or are you a pushover? Constantly giving in and offering people stuff? A follower who has no say?
Asshole Pros: No one is going to mess with you. No one is going to anger you. No one thinks about not taking you seriously.
Asshole Cons: No one wants to be near you period.
Pushover Pros: Everyone invites you in. You'll receive lots of love and support. You're essential to the group.
Pushover Cons: Once you run out of stuff to give, you'll notice the group has left you alone.
Here's what you should be: Be assertive. Your beliefs and opinions are your own and you're not going to shove them in anyone's face, but you're willing to defend them, and yourself if necessary. If someone is being rough with you, you just become the bigger man and leave them so they appear idiotic. You have to be kind. If someone needs help, strive to be willing to do it. Be able to say "no", and be able to forcefully tell people to stop something that you greatly disagree with that is being aimed towards you. You don't need anyone, but you're ready to have a companion or two necessary.
Congratulations. You've been your best self, you've gotten smarter, stronger and healthier! You've done some amazing things, made new friends and/or acquaintances, and you've got a girl somewhat catching your eye. It's time to move in!
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Step 2. Asking her out.
Gentlemen, for centuries we have been plagued with the fear of something so scary, so horrendous, so nerve-racking, it's surprising we didn't develop a gene that keeps us from dying because of it. I am of course talking about asking girls out. Now, depending what occasion is up, there will be different ways to ask a girl out, but all end up in the same way. Her saying either "yes" or "no".
Here are some tips on how to stay cool when asking a girl out, and how to greatly increase your chances of impressing her:
- Wear deodorant and an undershirt so if you start sweating, she won't notice.
- If you start sweating elsewhere, get into a mindset of "I'm cool, I don't give a damn, this is what I always do." You'll see your nerves start to calm down.
- Keep it simple. "Hey {insert name here}, wanna hang out sometime?" (Don't ask like that specifically though. Head on down to see a better way to talk)
-Don't do it near her friends, and if you have to, make sure it's the least amount of friends as possible. You don't want her to feel cornered since her friend will most likely want her to say "yes" regardless of who you are.
- Don't be afraid of rejection. Remember when you asked for a cookie and mom said no? That's literally all this is. You're asking her a question, it's either yes or no. that's it. Don't take it personally. (Learn how to act with rejection in front of her below)
How should you do it? Well, there are two main ways of doing it, and these depend on whether it's for an event (i.e a dance, prom, party, ect) or for just you two (movies, dinner, ect).
Asking during an Event
As the days disappear and the date draws closer, you start to feel anxious since you still have no date! There are two specific ways you can do this, and both have the same effects.
1. Close and Personal
You go to her, ask her, and that's it. What do you say? Since this is an event that she obviously knows is coming up, you say:
"Hey {insert name here}, if you haven't been asked yet, you want to go to {insert event name here} with me?"
Now, two things can happen when she says "yes". She can simply say, "Yeah" "Sure" "Of Course" and all the other synonyms for yes.
The other way is she can mess around with you. Girls do this to see how you react by being taken off guard, so here are some possible responses by her and what you can say:
- "What you mean as a date or something?"
" I just asked if you wanted to go with me. Take it as what you'd like, I'm just asking." (This response gives her the impression of you being genuine, but also not someone to just tease off)
- "I didn't know you liked me that way."
" Well, I'm just quicker than the other guys is all." (This response shows some humor as well as giving her a compliment, without being straight-up flirty)
- "I'd say yes, but why should I?"
" I've asked myself that too, but thankfully, you get to make that choice." (Another witty yet humorous response. It gives her a laugh while putting the decision on her instead of on you.)
- "How do you expect it to go?"
" Actions speak louder than words. I'd rather show you." (This gives her a "adventurous" feeling with you. Now she has a reason to go out with you; to figure out what you could be offering)
Loud and Proud
Ever see those giant signs or painted cars or cheesy messages people use to ask someone out? Yeah, we all have, but now it's time for you to come up with some on your own. Depending on how you express yourself (i.e how wild or outgoing you are and how many people know you are) is what determines how big you can go. You'll need a small budget for stuff, but honestly, you can have fun. It doesn't have to be over the top (some girls hate that, others love it) but it just needs to be funny/corny enough that even you laugh at it.
Need ideas? Simply type out "Promposals" (For Prom) "Hoco/Homecoming Proposals" (For Homecoming) "Dance Proposals" (For Dances) on Google, and you'll receive hundreds of ideas you can copy on TeenVogue, Pinterest, and BuzzFeed.
(Note: If you're going to do this, make sure 1. She doesn't already have a date. It'll be awkward for the both of you. 2. Don't do it around strangers or other students either you or she don't know. A cheering crowd forces the decision. 3. Don't do it in the morning. People are asshole already, no need to get the worst bit of her day.)
Just You Two
It's time for the ol' asking out. But as someone who has been on dozens of dates, I can tell you what to do and what not to.
Here's what you should say in general:
"Hey {insert name here},you want to {insert activity} sometime this {insert time} if you're not busy?"
Gentleman, let's take apart this sentence. First, you have to know her full name. Obviously don't use her last name when you ask her out, but using her name will show her you took the time to get to know her, and if you know her last name (don't reveal that unless she asks), she'll feel bad if she doesn't know yours and will want to get to know you. If she asks how you know her name, tell her you asked a friend because you didn't before and you wanted to ask her out. That'll show you actually care.
Secondly, note how I don't say "hang out". It's drab, it's boring, and it's a nuisance. She could "hang out" with her friends if she wanted. And also take into consideration how you give a certain time/date. That'll give her the ability to think back to see if she already has plans.
Thirdly, note how I say "if you're not busy" last. Putting it before the activity part gives off an impression that you're desperate, but if you give her the activity first, it'll give her more time to think about THAT instead.
Worst Date Ideas:
- Movies
Honestly, movies are terrible because you don't even get to talk to each other. And sure you've heard stories of girls who give bj's or whatever in the darkness of the theater, but come on, you want to get to know the girl first!
- Dinners
Waste. Of. Time. And. Money. Honestly, people act way too classy with each other, even if both are in a 2 star Mexican restaurant. It's just asking each other questions, and the only thing people are getting out of it is a free meal (depending on who pays).
- Anything with the guys
It's you and her. Not them and her. Would you like it if she took you along with her friends as she got mani-pedis? I don't think so.
- Clubs/ Bars/ Parties
Where there is alcohol, there is a drunk asshole hitting on everyone. People are everywhere, and there's not that much connection time period.
- Your Birthday
You want this to last right? So don't make the first date about you!
- The Mall
Walking around aimlessly without her cash and friends will make it seem like punishment for her.
Best Date Ideas:
- A school football game
You both suffer and endure school, so why not hang out together as everyone is happy and excited for their team?
- Amusement Parks
You can enjoy some fun with her and talk as you move from place to place. Of course, let's choose something that doesn't have a limit.
- Coffee Shop
(A personal favorite of mine) Whether you drink it or not, it's a chill environment that she is probably already used to AND it's cheaper than those restaurants. (Note: Use this if you're at LEAST a Senior in high school, otherwise you'll sound like a co-worker inviting someone during your break)
- Netflix
Be careful how you word this. Netflix and Chill should not come to mind. Instead, "Hey, the new {insert tv series} came out, want to binge with me? (Make sure she's a fan of the series)
- Pool
If it's summer time and you need to beat the heat, this is ideal for both of you. Have fun while swimming and talk while drying off in the sun.
- Concert
This one is certainly pricey, but you guys enjoy the same music, and you'll be together side by side.
Congratulations; You've just asked her out! Be it for an event or just you two, you got a date!
Now let's answer some important questions:
- How should I dress?
(It depends. For Prom, full on tux, for Homecoming and dances, a simple suit, for just the two of you, dress up nicely, but not enough that it'll look like you're going to an expensive dinner)
- After she says "yes", what should I do?
(After "yes", exchange numbers to keep in touch. Usually, I'd say offer your phone, but if she offers yours, make sure you give yourself somewhat of a funny name in her contancts. i.e "The Guy Whose Name You Probably Forgot By Now", or "That dude named {insert you name here}". Why? It gives her some comedy, and forces her to remember you)
- Should I text her in before the actual date? Should I hang out with her as well?
(When you text her, only bring up the date to discuss the logistics of it. Don't talk about too much or suffer the effect of seeming desperate. Still hang out with your friend group and if you see her again, say "hi", but don't hang out with her immediately, that's what the date is for.)
- How should I react with the "yes"?
(Obviously don't jump up and down, fist-pumping and screaming yes. Instead, smile, remain calm and cool, and have a sense of excitement for the date.)
And now here's the part for you if this didn't work...
How to Deal with Rejection
You worked hard, but it didn't work out. She said "no".
Well, first thing's first, you gave it your best shot. If she said no, she's missing out.
Do NOT take it personally, because if you do, everything you worked for in Step 1 will easily disappear.
If you asked her out for an event ( and hopefully not loud and proud, not because it's bad, but because you can't do the following if you did), you can simply ask out another girl. You won't seem weird, because all the guys are looking for a date!
If you asked her out just for the two of you, then give it about 1-3 weeks time and ask another girl you like. The key is to not look desperate. If someone asks you or reminds you about the rejection, just laugh it off and say, "Yeah, oh well. Past is in the past". No one is going to make fun of you, and no one is going to spread rumors. You asked a question, you got an answer.
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Step 3. The Actual Date
No matter what happens, be yourself. This first date is what determines whether you guys are perfect for each other or not. Be it an event or just you two, here are some tips:
- Have some money on you just in case
- Don't let her dictate whether you have fun on the date or not. It you and her both enjoying the fun together.
- Don't be nervous to ask some questions. After all, you're getting to know each other.
- Be a gentleman, but don't overdo it. (She has hands and feet just like you y'know..)
Now, whatever you do on the date is up to you, because depending on where you live, who she is, who you are, it can all play out drastically different. So the tips above are all that I can really give you for this.
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Step 4. The Future of Your Relationship
You did it. The night went great and you've been hanging out with each other. The only thing that could ruin it is your stupid actions. So let's get some stuff straight.
You are NOT in it for the sex.
Sure it's something that's bound to happen, but despite her kinks and your drive, she's going to start feeling used (even if she's the one who brought the idea up). If you do nothing but fuck each other, then you just turned your hard work into a friends-with-benefits relationship; something that can be done in less steps as listed above. A relationship should mean you guys enjoy each other's company, and you feel better as a person when the other person is with you.
You are NOT her Father, but you ARE your own Person
Too many times to relationships go bad because either A. The guy prevented her to hang out with others out of jealousy or B. Let her do whatever she wanted. You DO NOT get to control her. If you start acting with that mentality, she'll see you as abusive and leave, so stop treating her as if you're her father. BUT, make decisions. If you want something, don't be an ass about it, but make your point and stand your ground. She doesn't get to have her way all the time. If she does, she becomes the man in the relationship.
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Know what She Likes and Dislikes, and make sure She knows what You Like and Dislike
Sometimes it's the little things that bother us the most. Maybe she doesn't like it when you kiss her in public, or some sort of romantic gesture is deemed weird in her mind; you have to ask her if something is bothering her from time to time. Don't do it too often otherwise you'll seem like you're sensitive and worried she'll leave you. And vice versa, if she does something you dislike, let her know. Don't go changing up each other at every step, but instead, help each other to be as happy as possible.
Talk
Communication is key and if you're not willing to talk to her often, then it all goes downhill. Ask her how her day was, bring up a new topic, maybe vent a bit or just chill with each other. As long as you guys are exchanging information and nothing is being hidden from each other, then you have nothing to worry about.
Your job is to love her always and be there for her, and vice versa. You're dating each other because both of you are alike and want to live life together for a while because both of you make each other happy. That's the purpose of a relationship, and as long as BOTH of you keep it that way, then I see no reason why it won't last for a long long time.
So get out there gentleman. Already you guys are tough, strong, and fiercely powerful. All you gotta do is show everyone else
SERIOUSLY THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT, I HAVE ONE TIP FOR YOU ALL :
BE YOURSELF
How to get into a Fuckbuddy/Friends-With-Benefits Relationship
Pretty simple really. You do step 1, look for a girl who finds you interestingly sexy, you hook up, and the rest is history. I'm glad we had this short conversation.
TLDR (You people make me sick). Long story short, be yourself, but always strive to improve and become greater each day. Let your life be full of adventure, and help yourself get a girl by being a good person. When you ask her out, know what will allow you guys to bond when you invite her, and always keep a cool head. When you're dating, make sure you guys are honest with each other and don't take the other for granted
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Thanks for reading, ~ Ideology, Think more, act less.
Edited by Ideology, 02 March 2018 - 02:27 AM.
